Everyone should participate in this! NOW!

http://www.awakenedaesthetic.com/2009/04/christina-entcheva-giveaway/

Sometimes I feel like I have so much bundled up inside of me still. Memories of so many different things. For god's sake, I'm only 19 and I just have so much...idk...I don't think baggage is the right word. I just feel...deep? Like I have a lot I can reflect on? Ugh. I don't know how to describe it. Eff it.

They painted up your secrets
With the lies they told to you
And the least they ever gave you
Was the most you ever knew

And I wonder where these dreams go
When the world gets in your way
What's the point in all this screaming?
No one's listening anyway

Your voice is small and fading
And you hide in here unknown
And your mother loves your father
'Cause she's got nowhere to go

And she wonders where these dreams go
'Cause the world got in her way
What's the point in ever trying?
Nothing's changing anyway

They press their lips against you
And you love the lies they say
And I tried so hard to reach you
But you're falling anyway

And you know I see right through you
'Cause the world gets in your way
What's the point in all this screaming?
You're not listening anyway

So I've already got most of my Christmas shopping done. That makes me happy. I've spent about $129 so far, but I only need to get like three more things. I think I can do so within my budget of $150 and that's good.

Thanksgiving was nice. I was happy to be home. My lips are chapped and I drank too much coffee when Brock and I discussed the summer play. I don't feel like going back to Pittsburgh. Blah.

This entry had a lot more potential before I started writing it, I promise.

I just...god. I watched the results on a HUGE screen at my school with tons of people just...in shock and awe. I found out he won when one of my friends got a phone call and just started screaming; screaming so loud that people heard him 18 floors up (we were outside having a cigarette). We ran through the halls together; hugging strangers, crying with them, and then finally all watching his speech together.

I've never felt more like an "American" in my life...or felt more connected with my peers and fellow countrymen. We really did it, and my generation made such a difference in doing so. That just...it means so much to me. It means so much that people can be brought together like this; I don't understand how people can't see that that's a good thing. We need to be independent and free thinking, but not bitter and distant from each other. We can take care of each other and still be individuals.

I just can't stop crying. I'm so full of hope. This is just unreal...we're watching history unfold, and it's beautiful.

<3